Gratitude

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity.....
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
- Melody Beattie

WOW! Finally an update!

It has been quite a while since my last post. Sorry to keep everyone hanging! I have made it through chemo and I am finally starting to feel "normal" again. I had some difficult times with the last rounds of chemo...it really kicked my butt. But that is in the past now!

My hair is growing in slowly...but it's growing! I think I miss losing my eyelashes and eyebrows more than anything.

I just received my prescription for Tamoxifen...5 years...that's a long time. I am hoping to handle it well and get back to living life. I miss ZUMBA! I need to get healthy now more than ever. We just moved to Orlando and we belong to the YMCA. I will need to make a major lifestyle change and learn how to incorporate that into my life. My health depends on it!

I have committed to working more with my group, Young Survivors Coalition Orlando. I would like to be able to provide the same support to other young women that I received during the last few months. www.youngsurvival.org/orlando

Jason, Alannah, Liane, Alexander and I are participating in the 2009 Komen Race for the Cure on Sunday Oct. 25th. Please support us by donating as much as you can. If you would like to join our team and walk with us...PLEASE DO!! Please click link below to see my page:

http://www.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/DAB_CentralFloridaAffiliate?px=5417336&pg=personal&fr_id=1250&et=3NQGNhZ_Lm_DPhRz43Myfw..&s_tafId=21678

We appreciate your help!

Some pictures...

If you want to see what the chemo suite looks like....the chairs are really comfy. You get to watch t.v. if you want.




They gave this wig to me last week....I feel like the cowardly lion...I have NEVER had that much hair!!!



This is the wig we picked out....





Alexander has worn the wigs more than I have!!!

He looks pretty good!!! He is too silly!!!

Three down...

Wow! I just realized that it's been over a month since I have updated this! I guess I should have a lot to say. I have been through 3 chemo sessions. Thankfully I have not experienced any terrible side effects. The last of the adriamyacin and cytoxin is tomorrow! I am halfway there!!

I have continued to work and go to Zumba (most of the time). I have to give my YSC girlfriends that have been there for me and routing me on all this time, a giant "THANKS!"

I have had my mom with me, Patti and my brother for the chemo days. They have all done a great job with bringing snacks!

I have had some interesting times since losing my hair.

This was the day that Jason clipped my hair pretty short. It had started coming out on the day of my second treatment. That Saturday we decided it was best to clip is short....to be in control of it. I went that week without anything like a scarf or wig. I felt pretty good without covering up my head. It was a rough week because the hair kept coming out and it felt like little spiders crawling all over me...especially at night! So...the following Saturday it was time to shave it! Jason and Alexander both started to shave with the razor and then I took over. It was a rough time with us crying...even though we thought we were prepared for this. It was a difficult time for me....I didn't like how I looked at all. I felt like a conehead....from Saturday Night live! I couldn't believe that my head was SO WHITE!!

Alexander keeps kissing my head and telling me how much he loves my head! He has really handled this well. I am very proud of him.

I have not worn the wigs that I bought yet....it seems way too hot for that! I usually wear a bandanna or scarf. The cotton bandanna seem to be the coolest thing to wear since the scarves tend to be heavy or too hot. Believe it or not, this week at work I have gone without ANYTHING!! I walk proudly around and look people straight in their faces and smile. I think it's important that people know that I am not ashamed and that it's o.k. to be comfortable being bald. It took me about two weeks to feel that comfortable but now I rock the bald proudly!

I appreciate all of my supporters that keep telling me that I look good! Especially my husband and son who have shown so much love during this time....

Chemo Day

Well, I must admit that.... so far, it's not as bad as I was fearing. The actual receiving of the chemo was not bad. Since I had the mediport inserted during surgery, there wasn't the painful IV needle stick. The chairs are super comfy and there are t.v.'s. I had people give ideas of what to bring and I think that between my mom and I, we were packed for a few days! I was gifted a great carry bag that says "Fighting Cancer and Still Fabulous!" I packed it with my pink pillow and blanket that my brother and Patti gave me. I had my DS, MP3 player, CD player and even my tape player with my relaxation tape. Of course then there were snacks and drinks. One big thing is keeping hydrated....that is to flush the toxins (ie. bad cancer cells!) from my body. Snacks also help with the nausea. I was given a great tip....to bring peppermint oil to dab under my nose to not smell the antiseptic smell from the chemo area. Great idea!

So....basically after day one I am feeling pretty good. I watched the Magic game last night and went to bed. I am up early today looking forward to going to work. One of the biggest side effects of chemo is fatigue. I believe that a body in motion stays in motion...so I will try to continue to do what I normally do. Obviously if I need to rest, I will. I don't want to give in too much to the fatigue since it will only get worse if I do. I will make sure to get a good eight hours though since that is when my body will work the hardest at making new good healthy cells!

Anyway, if anyone has any tips/suggestions etc. that can help me during this time...I would appreciate hearing them all. I will be losing my hair within the next two weeks and any help with ideas on hats, scarves, etc. would be helpful as well. I will be ordering a wig this weekend...I will post pictures when I can!

I am off to work...I look forward to hearing from everyone!

Cafe Press

http://shop.cafepress.com/design/16365703 ( This is a cool site for funny cancer shirts! I thought this shirt was hysterical! )

I have an awesome customer service story to share. I recieved a great shirt from some very nice people (you know who you are!). It's good to know that they thought that I might be able to fit into a Jr. XL t-shirt! I called Cafe Press to see if I could exchange it for a bigger size. If you can believe it they are sending out a replacement and said this: "There is no need to send in the shirt you recieved, you recieved it as a gift and don't have to incur any extra costs. You are free to do as you please with the shirt, toss it, give it to someone or donate it." I WAS FLOORED!!!
I am now going to encourage everyone to check out this website and do business with them!!!
These days we all hear about negative customer service experiences and this company obviously knows how to do business. I salute them!!
www.cafepress.com

Chemo

Chemo starts on Thursday at 1 pm. I have been going to a therapist to learn how to relax and calm my mind. I have been very anxious about starting chemo. Since everyone reacts to chemo differently I have been scared to get started, I guess the fear of the unknown is what is getting to me.
I am doing a lot of reading that will help me figure out how to live after chemo. I have a long life to live and I want to be as healthy as possible. If there is anything that you come across that might be helpful or just make me laugh, please send an email. My mom reads the paper everyday and always pulls articles out that she thinks will help me. Stepheney did some research for me on the chemo drugs and the side effects. That helps me to prepare myself for what I am going to expect. Of course if it's not as bad as I read....then that's a great thing!
I am doing a lot of reading on healthy living and relaxation CD's are now on my MP3 player.
I could use some info on scarves and how to wear them. It's not summer yet and it's HOT here already!!!